So, it appears our brand specialist has been drinking one too many Châteauneuf-du-Pape and has gone into a drunken overdrive during a meeting with DoCoMo… oh, sorry, I meant docomo:

“The new logo’s color is red, which symbolizes the company’s energy and dynamism.”

Oh really now! Surely it envokes a time gone by, of British empire, of red pillar boxes, colonial power. No no, it symbolises nature, red in tooth and claw, of fire, danger, heat. Of stop signs, traffic lights, or standby mode. Or of 40th wedding anniversaries, ruby in colour, sanctified by the cardinals of the Catholic Church, on Mars. Of passion, socialism, radicalism aggression. Of sex, and strawberries. Yes, red, so full of energy, so dynamic. You picked it cos its a nice colour. Grow up.

“The logo, along with other branding elements, embodies DoCoMo’s commitment to achieve customer satisfaction by understanding the needs of customers and building stronger relationships with them…”

How? How does it do that? How can setting some characters in lowercase with a moderately interesting typeface embody your commitment to achieve customer satisfaction? How can it possibly, in any way at all demonstrate an understanding of your customer’s needs, or in their relationships with you? Because the only way I can see that that could possibly be the case is if people were moving to other networks because their logo was red. Or in a interesting typeface. And I’m not convinced that is the case. Heaven forfend you have a conversation with your customers, ask them what they want, and what they don’t, in an genuine, open, frank conversation with them, ideally with the marketing droids locked in an Austrian cellar with Motorola Startacs shoved up their arses and ball-gags the size of meteors strapped across their smarmy mouths.

“...and to maximize the creativity of the company’s workforce…”

Actually, introducing working practices, rewards schemes, systems that show in tangible ways to staff that you appreciate them and respect them, and other such evil leftie ideas that enfranchise workers would do that more effectively than a logo. Try a better pension plan. Or an additional day off work a year. Or maybe a payrise. Encourage creativity by flattening hierarchies, cross-team working, anything. No, I am being silly. A logo, that’ll do it. Maybe some branded polo shirts?

“...and remain a leading innovator in the mobile communications industry.”

Right, so let’s forget that network upgrade. Or working with HCI specialists to get that usability thing down pat. I don’t need a permanent high speed connection to the net, ubiquitous wire-free computing, new ways of using, accessing and acting upon information. I just need to see a red logo on my phone.

“The logo and new brand slogan - Unlimited Potential, in Your Hand - also express DoCoMo’s commitment to offer high-quality, value-added mobile services and technologies that enhance human relationships and lifestyles.”

I quite often have unlimited potential in my hand, but I usually make sure I have some tissues handy.

So, to recap, you make your customers feel patronised, your employees look stupid, your designers look foolish and yourselves look totally out of touch with reality when you send out press releases like this.
Source: Brand New